Autism

On being on the outside

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He insists on sitting by me but he won’t hold my hand. He won’t really touch me. But he will scream if I move too far away. He can’t tolerate a single change in routine or plans or rules or promises. He acts like his whole world exploded when he feels left out, and he […]

On becoming a tween

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He tells me that he wants to be a better person. He tells me how he actually feels. He wants to know about life. He wants to snuggle with me. Charlie is officially 10 years old. If you are a newer reader you may not know that Charlie is my oldest boy and you may […]

On coming back

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I wrapped my long hair up into a top bun in a soft scrunchie because I secretly still love them in the privacy of my own home. I laid back onto the pillow in rest for what seemed like the first time in months. I tried to fall asleep but my brain would have none […]

Because he is nine

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  He is simply an enigma. From the moment he was born, to his diagnosis at age 2 From his journeys through therapy to his miraculous progress and place of hope. He is such mystery a puzzle-gift I attempt to unwrap more and more each day. Each layer more precious each layer revealing more mystery. He continues […]

Chuckles the courageous

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Charlie had a birthday recently. I am the mom to an 8 year old.  He asked me tonight to call him Chuckles. At his school, they did a small celebration, and asked about each of his years. He couldn’t remember anything. Because he doesn’t realize he woke from being asleep, just last year. The autism […]

A letter, with love

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The very first love letter I received from you was just one line, written on the back of your high school photo. “Tu eres la mujer de mis suenos.” You are the woman of my dreams. It really worked for me that you were fluent in Spanish. You were 16. I was 15.  We had […]

New beginnings

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We are very selective about the activities we have the boys involved in, because not just any sport will work.  Team sports are pretty challenging right now, and if we don’t do those, what else is left?  There are only so many bears to intimidate in the forest.  Actually there’s none.  So you see our […]

We rejoice

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Yesterday a guest post I wrote for Sarah Mae went up on her blog, Like A Warm Cup Of Coffee.  Please go check it out, it’s about God and autism and it was an honor to write something for her while she is busy moving her family to a new home. It’s funny, because I […]

Just go

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The days, while full of beauty, are also full of hard edges and anxiety.  I feel so very “less than” right now, not enough time or energy or whatever, to help these kids get off their slippery slope. I expected regression, kids on the autism spectrum almost always go through it when there’s change. And […]