My boys were talking the other night about River after she went to bed. Saying how sweet she is, how she always gives you a moment of her heart, her soul. And then they told me how weird it is that they have two sisters, but they only know one.
I think I could write every single day about how complete River has made our family, how much her spirit has healed us, and it still wouldn’t contain the entirety of the situation. She hasn’t replaced the sister lost, but she filled the hole in our hearts. She somehow did it not by taking the place of, but by being in addition to. By slipping into that empty space and reaching around and around and balming each little and big wound with her spirit-hands. She smoothed over rough spots and hard edges and continues doing it every day. The more her huge personality comes out, the more ground she covers in this hand-made soothing she is doing and we’ve only been with her on this side of the veil for a year. I breathe rapidly and become breathless just thinking about how much more is to come.
I feel like most days I’m a partner along side her, watching her and encouraging her but practically just observing as she grows into this little lady. She has made me more womanly and more soft and more gentle and I didn’t know I had those pieces inside me.

On this day she watched from the side as her brothers had tennis practice, and they beamed knowing she was watching. It’s as if she knows the level of her celebrity in their hearts but she doesn’t get an ego about it. She doesn’t get a big head or an entitlement, but it’s practically as if she uses their adoration wisely and honors it. I can hardly believe I’m talking about a one year old baby, but it’s all true. It’s her.
**style**
rosette tee :: target
splendid skirt :: thrifted (similar)
missoni shoes :: target (on clearance a year ago) (similar)
linking up with small style



















{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
What a little love. She’s all this, and more.
She’s just getting more and more adorable by the day. My goodness!
What a beautiful little girl! Love those shoes, I went crazy when they brought Missoni to Target.
Love her shoes!
I seriously cannot get enough of River. Lord, please squish our states together.
Amen. xo
I’m new to your blog and hadn’t read your story. What love and beauty. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading, Mary Beth! xo
Oh, how I agree with my daughter making me more womanly, soft and gentle. I was such a tomboy and hard as a rock but there is something about children/girls that does that. I am rejoice that your little addition helps every day to soothe over the rough places of your wound. I pray for more to come. This is a beautiful post.
Thank you, babies are healing and it just gets better and better. Hope you are feeling good!
Lovely. Really. What a beautiful post. And a beautiful little girl. I’m visiting for the first time via Small Style.
Thank you – and so glad you stopped by! xo
love her little shoes!
Cute little monkey…
She has a little monkey pacifier that totally makes me think of you and your nickname for her. :)
Just stumbled across your blog today from (in)courage and am grateful to have been able to spend some time reading your story. What a beautiful girl, inside and out. Just adorable.
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