Because he is nine

by arianne

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He is simply an enigma.

From the moment he was born, to his diagnosis at age 2
From his journeys through therapy
to his miraculous progress
and place of hope.

He is such mystery
a puzzle-gift I attempt to unwrap
more and more each day.
Each layer more precious
each layer revealing more mystery.

He continues to be my ocean.
My vast, deep, sometimes dark
always powerful
but sometimes quiet
beauty of wonders.

He will seem completely unaware of you or your goings on
when suddenly he is the one by your side in a crisis.

He can be waylaid by simple changes in the day
yet completely good under pressure and
knows exactly what to do.

Like the ocean
he can bring you peace with his waves of love
comfort you with strength
contains deep and awe-inspiring intelligence
and can be all encompassing.

You never underestimate the ocean
just like I never know what to expect
with my fascinating
brilliant
Charlie boy.

He misses his sister most out of all of them.
Because he anticipated her more than anyone else.
He used to sleep with her keepsake by his bed
or in his hand.
Every night. For months.

Today my oldest and first baby is nine.
I have been a mother almost a decade
And as I’ve grown up
and been broken
and healed.

so. has. he.

***

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Sara Sophia September 5, 2011 at 7:44 pm

((sob)).

How we love that Charlie.
.-= Sara Sophia´s last blog ..Happy Day Shower Giveaway Number Seven Beaba Babycook from Scandinavian Child =-.

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Karianna September 5, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Beautiful — Happy Birthday Charlie!
.-= Karianna´s last blog ..Labor Day Adventures =-.

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Adventures In Babywearing September 6, 2011 at 8:05 am

Nine! How can it be! Love him.

Steph
.-= Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..On plugs and wires and the things that truly connect us. =-.

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Amber@theRunaMuck September 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Airs, I was reading this on my phone while walking a load of laundry to the wash, and I had to stop in my tracks and put my hand to my chest.

I don’t know him but I do. I know the kind of love you writer about here.
.-= Amber@theRunaMuck´s last blog ..How to Wear a Baby (and why) =-.

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Megan at SortaCrunchy September 7, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I think each birthday of our oldest must be so painful for all of us. It’s that breaking up of new ground over and over and over again. And nine. Last year in single digits. That is so big.

He was born on such a good, good day. Our hearts can labor together through each year that keeps coming New, smiling through our tears.

Happy (now belated) birthday to Charlie!
.-= Megan at SortaCrunchy´s last blog ..the soul awakens to Story =-.

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Sandy a la Mode September 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

happy birthday to him!! what a beautifully written post!!

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Jo September 7, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Happy Birthday to Charlie! You’re a truly strong and loving person and a parent
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Growth in Fluorescent Grow Lights =-.

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Danielle Smith September 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

What a sweet love and miracle you share with him. What a blessing that he can be your ocean and your comfort… what a blessing he has in you as his mother. To be able to wrap him in such beautiful layers of language – describing him perfectly – the one who does and will always know him best. Happy (now belated) birthday to your first….
.-= Danielle Smith´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Beauty and the Beach =-.

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