This is that

by arianne

Post image for This is that

{photo of me by Dawn}

I sit, open my small journal, the one for LIFE and not so much DREAMING, cautiously I peek inside.

It holds to do lists. I hate to do lists.

I try to start a new page, one with “Direction” as the title.

Hoping to find mine.

I doodle a poinsettia along the edge instead.

I write down “up”.

And close the book.


I sense a theme among people, writers, women. You all.

It’s a theme present in my heart too.


Do you sense it?

n. upheaval [ʌpˈhiːvəl]





a. The process of being heaved upward.
b.  A great change or disturbance

I can’t figure anything out. I can’t tell you what direction I’m headed. I have no clue what God is doing.

But He’s doing something. Something big.

The soil of my heart keeps feeling turned over and over, aerated by the Farmer Himself.  He is planting new seeds, harvesting fruit, clearing out old dead plants that have been there far too long…

Everything from who I am, to my children and their future, my husband’s job, what our ministry is {God is doing big things here…}, finances, babies, LIFE.  All flung into that great limbo land called UNKNOWN.

Once you surrender, totally surrender all. Tell Him He can really  h  a  v  e    i  t    a  l  l.

He gathers up everything, re-decorates (to put it mildly) and gives back ten fold what He took away. But everything is not where it was before.

And this is good. SO GOOD. Requiring more surrender, faith and trust than normal.

And my impatience, my wanting to know MORE. NOW.

Is like a lion with a tiny chain holding it back, just waiting to pounce and devour everything good.

So I soothe that beast within, reading Psalms to it and offering it cookies and hot tea and whisper in it’s ear that all that strength and might and passion will be used for this special amazing purpose one day.

I just have to wait.


Is your soil being aerated? I’d love to know if you’re in upheaval too…

{Linked up with Emily today, tip toe over there to read more unwrapped thoughts…}

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: