The Old You

by arianne

Post image for The Old You

Did you know?

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Baby it doesn’t have to be this way.

You don’t have to hurt.

You don’t have to see only dark

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I miss you, the real you.

The old you.

The one who was real and free and here.

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I watch you sleep

I can’t wake you up.

Only you can come over to this side of reality.

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Come join me in the light.

It’s warm and feels like chocolate euphoria under the skin.

It feels like life.

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It is Life.

Did you know?

~*~

photo credit

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Rach August 3, 2010 at 3:42 pm

I love your writing, Arianne. We are currently going through a difficult time and it feels alot like this. :)

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Arianne August 3, 2010 at 10:29 pm

@Rach, hugs! xoxo {and thank you :) }

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Kelly Langner Sauer August 3, 2010 at 6:04 pm

the ache: this hurts. on some level I can’t define.

the snicker: my chocolate melted when I went out in the warm today.

sending you a nice cool e-hug in today’s heat. I’ve been going to the clinic you recommended. I think of you when I hear the worship music there. maybe we’ll cross paths sometime.
.-= Kelly Langner Sauer´s last blog ..stand-still =-.

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Arianne August 3, 2010 at 10:29 pm

@Kelly Langner Sauer, you have been going?! look at you, you do-er you! so glad.

and, yes. the hurt.

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Kelly Langner Sauer August 4, 2010 at 8:08 am

@Arianne, it’s God talking to you, isn’t it… *chills*
.-= Kelly Langner Sauer´s last blog ..vomiting lions and how does God see =-.

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Secret Agent Mama - Mishelle August 3, 2010 at 9:41 pm

I could have written this. Tonight, yesterday, last week, last month, the past year; I could have written this. :(
.-= Secret Agent Mama – Mishelle´s last blog ..Weekly Winners The Hebrew National Better-than-a-Picnic-Picnic Edition =-.

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Arianne August 3, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Hyacynth August 3, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Your words are so beautiful, heart-breaking, but beautiful.
Sometimes I feel like {my own} he and I are on two different playing fields in two different ballgames, too. Those times are intense and rocky, but they bring me to my knees, which is where I suspect He wanted me all along. I often {sigh} forget the power of a praying wife until I’m given a reason to be quickly reminded.
I can pray with you.
.-= Hyacynth´s last blog ..Living Healthfully- Organic Gardening Week Something – first week of August- All of the babies have turned into toddlers =-.

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Arianne August 3, 2010 at 10:32 pm

@Hyacynth, thank you. YES. that’s when the respect often only comes w/prayer.

and I actually didn’t write this about my husband. but I definitely hoped and prayed it would resonate with people in whatever way, and about whomever, they needed.

xoxo

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Hyacynth August 3, 2010 at 10:34 pm

@Arianne,
I am SO glad this wasn’t about your hubby! Those times are, like I said, so terribly hard.
I get what you’re saying about the respect thing. Funny how that is the first to go when we disagree, but it’s the thing our men crave so much.
.-= Hyacynth´s last blog ..Living Healthfully- Organic Gardening Week Something – first week of August- All of the babies have turned into toddlers =-.

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Arianne August 3, 2010 at 10:42 pm

@Hyacynth, I know, they not only crave but are created to need that respect! Even when they act the opposite of respect-worthy.

I could have written it last year about he and I though. We have come so far.

And truly, I wish I wasn’t able to even write it about anyone. But it’s freeing just the same.

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Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms August 3, 2010 at 10:59 pm

I think this could describe every marriage at one time or another. Most-if not all-go through hard seasons…some wind blown and some level 5 hurricane damaged.

Heart-rending words, Ari!
.-= Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms´s last blog ..How I Enjoy My Green Grass =-.

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Ashleigh (Heart and Home) August 4, 2010 at 9:16 am

Beautiful, Ari…

How desperately we need to return to the First Love… come out of that darkness and step into the light. <3

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cwaltz August 7, 2010 at 12:05 am

Arianne,

Your words remind me of paint on a canvas. Each word is a brushstroke full of feeling. You evoke imagery and provoke thought. You can truly tell that God is not something you just pull out on Sundays or use as a hammer to bludgeon folks with your superiority. Nope. He is in every word you write and something you seek out constantly. You are truly gifted and I feel truly blessed for finding your blog.

Christine

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cwaltz August 7, 2010 at 12:09 am

Arianne,

Have you considered going to couples grief counseling? After our son passed things were difficult for us too because the process is so different for each of us. It might help each of you understand each other better. Just a thought.

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Rick August 10, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Thank you for such a heartfelt message. I will print this off for my wife.
Our son Quenten died 15 months ago. He would be 20 on Oct 16th. We sometimes feel that people don’t understand the choices you have. You can choose darkness and take shelter there. Darkness is easier to get into than light but harder to leave behind. God is light, a place of comfort, peace, joy, hope, and faith. It is not an easy place to get to and takes work to stay there too.

Some family and friends don’t understand, they think if you aren’t all broken up that you are not grieving properly. The death of a close one is hard but does not make God’s other blessings less wonderful or less enjoyable. I can celebrate my new great nephew being born and know God is there, without bringing along the darkness of my loss. I honor my son by living a full and complete life, counting my blessings every day.

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Lisa September 5, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Beautiful poem- can’t decide it it’s for me or my son. Thank you!

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