New life

by arianne

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I pray.  “Freedom, no more chains.”

I sing.  “Grace, oh let me sink.”

I pray.  “Rain Love on me now, Lord.”

I can’t help but ask.  For Love.  Love to rain down on me.  To fill me to overflowing.  To break the dam, to rush forth Living Water.

And I expect it.  Because He promised it — He promised His Spirit would fill me.  I expect God to be God.

I thank Him for it.  Before I even have it, I thank Him.  Worship Him for what will come, as if it’s already here.

Love begins to rain down.  Meekly I tell Him

“Lord, connect my heart to Yours forever.  Connect my heart to Yours forever.  Connect my heart to Yours forever.”

I don’t even realize the intimacy to come. I don’t even understand that I’ve finally cracked the shell. He finally cracked my shell.

As I yield, my meek voice turns urgent, assertive.  I can barely feel my arms or hands.  Somewhere they became paralyzed.  My eyes shut tightly see sounds around me.  The sounds of deep prayer, worshiping Jesus, excitement, crying

Halleluia!

Glory!

And in one swift move, where time stood still and skipped two beats all at the same time, my tongue was loosed.

Living Water poured out.  Love poured down.  I could not, and would not stop.

I jump, I fall, I try to find ground to fall on my face.  Eyes still shut I feel around and find it.

My tongue is still proclaiming.

Soon I realize

Soon I see

This is it.  The day. The birth day.

The truth of that fact gets stuck in my heart where it cannot make it to my brain to be processed.  There’s no analyzing this.  It just is.

Beauty.

Perfection.

Miracle!

Inside me.

Forever.

***

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

–How He Loves, David Crowder Band

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