My sweet baby Mabel Love was born a stillborn, January 8, 2010.
She was more beautiful than I could have imagined, and I miss her so very much. I miss her in my womb, and in my arms.
Over the past few days my belly has been silent, today it is empty.
I can’t possibly express to you all the profound impact you have had on me the past few days. Because of all of your immense love and support and prayers, I felt the Spirit cocoon me in warmth and peace and was able to have a beautiful experience yesterday. Truly, truly powerful. I don’t know how I’ll find the words to describe it, but I plan to try. I sit here thinking and thinking, so much to express and share, but too sad to move. To eat. To breathe.
I realized as we drove home from the hospital at 3am today, that I could see it coming towards me. Grief. Like a dark villan barreling down a long tunnel headed straight for me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to escape it.
Yesterday the mother instinct was so strong, I kept asking my husband how the baby was doing, and making sure she wasn’t alone. God I miss her so much.
I see Mabel’s beautiful face in my mind, her sweet little hands etched in mine. She was so small and so perfect, and we feel SO BLESSED to have met her and know she is happy and safe now.
I just miss her.
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I lost one of my twin sons at birth. That was 14 years ago. The pain never truly subsides, you just learn to cope. It’s unfair that your daughter was taken from you so suddenly. It’s hard to have faith in God when things like this happen. I don’t know how I got to your page this morning, but I am grateful I can be here to give you the blessing of a mother who knows, who understands and grieves alongside you.
Anytime you want/need to talk…I’m an email away.
.-= CP´s last blog ..So here we are…2010. =-.
i am so very sorry for your loss. may many prayers keep you wrapped in His peace. and may this link (not mine) bring some comfort from a family who has recently been where you are today:
http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com
Oh Arianne, I just heard your sad sad news. I am so sorry for you and your entire family. I wish that we were still neighbors so I could take the boys for you! Please let us know if there is anything we can do!
I’m so terribly sorry.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..A Baby in My Belly =-.
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing],
shit. i’m sorry my commentluv link went up there. i tried to stop it from loading, but i didn’t catch it. i’m so sorry…
I’m so sorry for this deep loss, and am grateful you’ve felt some comfort through it all. I’m thinking of you and your family.
.-= Michelle at Scribbit´s last blog ..The Dollhouse =-.
Oh, so sorry. Sending hugs and warmth.
.-= Lora Lynn´s last blog ..Transition =-.
I’m so so very sorry to read the news of Mabel’s death, and the pain you are living right now, losing your daughter. There are just no words to describe the unbelievable cruelty of this experience on a family. We also lost our daughter to stillbirth – just about a year ago, and reading your news brings me back to the pain of those days. I know how impossibly hard it is to live these days and I wish you weren’t going through this. My thoughts are with you..
i am so profoundly sorry.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Putting on My Big Girl Pants and Playing "Mommy" =-.
Oh, I’m so sorry. I lost my baby boy thirteen years ago now. It still hurts, but like you I did feel God’s arms around me, and that made all the difference, even with the milk coming in and the empty arms.
I put a 2-minute video together of my “Prayer Through Tears” for moms who have lost babies. You can see it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlYrRjMmCEY
May you always remember that everyday is a day closer to your Mabel, and not a day further away from her.
.-= Sheila Gregoire´s last blog ..Works for Me Wednesday: Weaning off of Television =-.
I am so sorry for your loss. Mabel is lucky to have you as a mother. Continue to share her story.
http://www.nationalshare.org
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and to read back over your past posts about loss and miscarriage and hope. Your writing is beautiful. Your story is heartbreaking. I am hoplding you and your family and your lovely Mabel in my heart and keeping you in my prayers.
She is in heaven with my and other adored angel babies, watching over us and knowing we will be together someday.
Sending hugs to you!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..The Incredible Shrinking Uterus =-.
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