Decisions

by arianne

pshaw

This week was one of those weeks that I wish I could just discreetly erase from my mental hard drive.  Wallowing in my own self pity, about this life, this family, these poor children.  It wasn’t good.

I work very hard to keep positivity in the front of my mind.  Hope is all we have sometimes, but it can be enough.  Should be enough.  Coping skills are needed in my world, strong ones, those made of steel — tools that anyone with a hard lot in life keeps in their quiver because you’d not survive otherwise.

But this week I had no coping skills.

Where did they go?  Stolen away by tiny soul sucking events that didn’t seem at all tiny, at the time.

I do not kid myself…everyone has their cross to bear, and many families have it harder than we do.  I know this.

So today, as the sky cleared ever so slightly and I saw the sun for a few short moments, and even now as I sit and watch the sunset.  The hope has returned.  I’ve decided to cope.  I’ve decided to renew my soul.  I’ve decided to hope.

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