The Bullet Is No More

by arianne

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I made it almost 3 months since the day I first wrote about my beloved “bullet”, my son’s baby mullet.  That one year old baby hair that seems to only grow in the back, but you love its silky feel and that baby look so much you can’t bear to cut it?  Yeah that. Tonight, we cut off the bullet.  And I cried.

I didn’t cry because it looked bad, though at first I felt like he didn’t look like “himself”.  He isn’t really speaking you see, and he makes a lot of noises that wild animals make, so he could pull off that “I’ve been raised by wolves” hair really well.

I cried because my little man, now 19 months old, possibly our last baby, is growing up.  With this new cut he looks so grown up, more than I remember his brothers looking after their first cut.  I was instantly regretting getting rid of those lovely locks, the hair I like to play with and pat when he’s sad or overwhelmed.  I felt as though I was being forced to acknowledge something I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.  {tiny whisper} He may not be a baby anymore.

Since I have a job now and am more official than just, “my mom writes”, I do see the kids less than before I had a job.  So watching my little guy go from baby to boy in a matter of 10 minutes, when I miss that baby on a daily basis as it is, was really hard.  Painful, in fact.

However, by the time he was going to bed tonight, I found that I was really getting into this new cut.  It doesn’t get food stuck in it, and I can see the back of his neck (and nuzzle it relentlessly).  I already feel like he probably feels good about himself, like he may feel a bit more grown up too.

I know I can’t deny his cuteness, even if I miss his longer hair…what do you think?

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Merry Christmas Eve!

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