Friend Disclaimer

by arianne

I have been letting people down lately. And when the fit hits the shan at home, all I can do is buckle down and concentrate on work and family, and that leaves my beloved friends, online and offline, in a lurch.  I hate having to disappoint people, so I decided to post this disclaimer, so you know up front what you are getting into with me.

  • I will not return your phone calls.  Sorry, but I hate the phone, and I don’t even call my mother back.  Email me if you want to reach me.  Which brings me to my next point…
  • I won’t reply to your emails.  Well, I will, but it will either be days later, or a two word reply.  Again, ask my mother how good I am at this.
  • I will forget what is going on in your life if we haven’t spoken in a few days.  Going into survival mode with autism ruling our house right now means that my brain is spilling over with all the details.  I still care, I just can’t remember.
  • I will go days without speaking to you.  It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because there’s only so much this stressed out full time working mom can handle.  It’s not you, it’s me.
  • I will have other friends too, and I may want to do things with them.  I will still want to do things with you, but I like doing things.  With people.
  • I am a career minded gal, and will be busy with work.  Just because I work at home doesn’t mean I’m less busy than those that commute to the city.  I am more accessible, but not more available.  I am also usually wearing sweats.
  • I will stand by you when you’re life goes through changes, trials and tribulations.  I won’t abandon you, ever.  Sorry, but that’s a promise.
  • I am genetically unable to be fake, so I will always keep it real with you.  Sincerity is my flagship personality trait, so look out.
  • I will make you laugh, even if it means me agreeing to do the Carlton Dance while you record it with your video camera.  It’s just how I roll.
  • I will let you make as many jokes about my boobs as you want.  Again, it’s how I roll.
  • I will never be mean to you, I will become your passionate cheerleader and support system, and will defend you to the end.  Even if I will never call you back.

So if you read this disclaimer and still want to be my friend, awesome!  If not, I understand.  Well, I don’t understand, but at least we didn’t get all lovey mclovey before I ruined it in some way.  Saved my time, and yours.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: