We’ve been living a life of uncertainty for quite some time now. Beyond not knowing if our autistic children would ever live normal lives, we have had a couple years of major trials and tribulations. Any seemingly good thing that has come along has quickly been countered by an even bigger bad thing. Or so it seemed. Many times something bad, like losing a job, can actually turn out the be the best thing that ever happened. It may just take you a while to get to that realization.
While chatting with some friends yesterday, my husband and I talked about what a life of uncertainty is like. Our friend had a great analogy (I’m paraphrasing): It’s like being dropped in the middle of the desert, having no clue which way to walk. Up ahead you see a tree, so you just try to get to that tree. Once there, you see another tree, and so you walk to that one. All the while, you have no idea how many trees there are. You can’t think about that. You can only keep going, one tree at a time. Perhaps some day you will get to a big clearing where you can clearly see the journey ahead. Perhaps not.
What we’ve learned, through many many months of asking “why” things keep happening, is that eventually you stop asking why and start living. Between the trees. There is so much life, between the trees.