The Stay At Home Mom-Worker

by arianne

Through my years of being a mom (my eldest is almost 6 now) my role has continued to evolve and change along with me.  When I was in college, I had a difficult time picking a major, because all I wanted to do or be in life (as far as career ambitions go) was a mother.  I felt like I was made for the job, and couldn’t wait to begin my new “career”.

Once I was pregnant with my first baby, I did constant research.  What kind of birth would we have?  What kind of parents would we be like?  Would I let him wear little sailor outfits?  All of it was extremely important to me.

My husband and I had planned on me being a stay-at-home-mom, so the job I had longed for was finally going to begin.  I was ecstatic.

And then I had that first baby.  He was more wonderful and more difficult than I had ever prepared for.  He was one of a kind, and he took my perfect little Rule Book to be a Perfect Mom I had created for myself, and promptly threw it out the window.  Hard.

So my role as a stay-at-home-mom slowly, but surely, turned into a stay-at-home-mom-therapist-psychologist-dietitian-advocate.  Autism became a member of the family, and no matter how unwelcome, we had to accept it’s presence in our lives.

I embraced these new roles most days, however on the other days I questioned my own qualifications.  How did I know what I was doing?  Why didn’t I feel like I was doing a better job?  It was all I could do to just accept what is, and what may not ever be, and move forward.

So fast-forward several years, and you have present day.  My role has been evolving yet again, and while it’s all for the good, it’s still unexpected and intriguing.  I have expanded my role to being a stay-at-home-mom-therapist-psychologist-dietitian-advocate-writer-blogger-work-at-home-mom.  I would love to add gardener, baker and urban homesteader to that list, but for now those have to wait.

We all know that most people consider stay-at-home-moms (SAHMs) to be in a different category as work-at-home-moms.  We SAHMs often pick up plenty of odd jobs, in addition to our every day battles with the “insurgents” at home, but yet no one changes my category on all those surveys I’m sent.  And for me personally, with my many deadlines and writing projects I have spinning, I am still considered a SAHM by most accounts.  This is just not accurate anymore, and  I don’t think I can say “Work-At-Home-Mom”, because it typically is referring to moms who are in the general (i.e. corporate) work force, but telecommute from home.

So what’s my category on such a survey?  Mom At Home That Works But Is Never Really “Staying” Anywhere?  A Stay At Home Mom Who Is Only Home When She’s Working?  What do you think?

I’m a little partial to Stay At Home Mom-Worker. Because I am “at home”, I’m a mom, and I’m most definitely working.  Come to think of it, we are all, ALL those things.  Ah, labels.  Aren’t they fun?

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