The Chuckster

by arianne

My dad has always been loyal to one person above all else. Chuck Norris. No matter how much my siblings and I made fun of the look, the muscles, or the hair, my dad always defended him. We could make fun of my dad all day long. No problem, he laughed with us! But if we dare make a snide comment about Walker, Texas Ranger, suddenly we had offended him in the worst way possible.

Now, ever since Conan’s Walker Texas Ranger Lever (be sure to check out Clip #2), The Chuckster is back in a big way.

Today I found possibly the funniest website EVER. Check out Chuck Norris Facts. There’s a ton of good tom foolery material, and here are some of my favorite lines:

“Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. “

“Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.”

“In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.”

“There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.”

“If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.”

“Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.”

“When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.”

And I could go on. And on. And on.

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