A Confession

by arianne

Its been brought to my attention by a certain someone who will remain nameless and who I am married to, that I don’t “write” any more on my blog. So there’s “no point commenting on it”.

If you look at my archives you will see that I did used to “write”. A lot. Lately I’ve been more of a linkage girl. I don’t know why I’m content to just share cool stuff and not write. I didn’t even learn how to do hyperlinks until 8 months into my blogging.

One thing that contributes to the lack of novella is my total and utter addiction to gossip blogs. Most of said blogs I won’t admit to reading, and don’t even have on my blog roll. However, reading gossip isn’t taking away from writing, its a side effect of something. But what?

Well, I had a light bulb moment today. I read those gossip blogs to escape.

I used to read a lot of intellectual blogs, covering a wide array of topics like politics and current events. I also used to work out, have energy and be joyful.

Now I will hit the same gossip blogs 3 or 4 times to see if there’s an update on the whole “Lindsay Lohan’s a bulimic crack whore” story. If I read those, and other light and funny blogs, I don’t have to think about all the sadness going on in the country, in the world. If I read those I don’t have to think about all the sadness going on in my own life.

So what is the solution? Go back to snarky and depressing posts about my life? Or keep on with the linkage? At this point I’m not quite sure. I don’t know where this blog is headed. I don’t really know where I’m headed.**

I will tell you that my Christmas was the worst ever. I wasn’t going to bring it up, but then you wouldn’t be able to come here, read my blog, and feel really great about your own life. So, I’m doing a public service, you see.

I got the flu and was the sickest I’ve ever been in my whole life. My neighbor who I barely know (I’ve only lived here for 5 months, do you expect me to be out-going or something?) started doing laundry for me (we share laundry machines), started saying I’m always sick (won me over with that one) and began taking pity on me.

“After I had my second daughter I was sick for three years”, she said. “I never had any help, so I just wanted to help you out.” It was nice and all, but just made me feel worse about myself. The truth is, I AM always sick. Today I hated the world and figured I must be PMS’ing. “Here we go again”, I thought. I will feel like shit for another week.

On top of being sick and missing almost the entire Christmas season because I was delirious with fever, my son started regressing rapidly. There was way too much crying going on by all the children and the mommy and the daddy in this house. Don’t you want to come visit me now? We are SO fun!

So, I would totally end this post with something inspirational, and talk about how everything will get better, but I can’t. I’m busy. I have to go check the latest on the Brangelina pregnancy. She so is!!

**Existential meanderings will always appear during that special time of the month. Yes, I’m talking about that.

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