Ghetto (Un)Fabulous

by arianne

We live in a nice neighborhood. We rent and, as anyone who knows anything about Los Angeles real estate will tell you, its what EVERYONE does. You have to be making some serious Benjamins to be able to buy anything in the general area of L.A. County real estate.

We moved a couple months ago to a new place in this neighborhood, and somehow found ourselves right next door (seriously, their house is like 4 feet from ours and their side concrete ghetto “patio” is right outside all the windows on the south side of our house) to the most ghetto people I have ever seen in this neighborhood. About 8 people live there and its a 2 bedroom duplex. There’s a mom, her 4 kids (a son and daughter look to be in their 20′s, other two sons are in grade school), someone’s “cousin”, and older daughter’s 2yr old daughter and baby son.

Some things you might overhear my neighbors say while sitting in MY FAMILY ROOM TRYING TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS:

“Stop it you stupid little fuck!” (said to the 2 year old daughter)

“You’re such an asshole and will never be nothin in life.”

“She’s in heat, she’s bleeding.” (Did I mention they have two dawgs they let bark ALL. DAY. LONG.?? Yep. This was heard yesterday when the older daughter was outside my window screaming it to someone about one of their dogs.)

“Are you going to beat me again, Mom?”

Do I need to go on? NO, I did not make any of this up. This is the kind of people who live next door.

I have already had to be a total bitch and call the cops because they left their dog outside all night one night and she barked every 30 seconds for three hours until 2:30a.m. This was only a problem because the dog woke up my son. My son WHO NEVER SLEEPS. Yes, I had to go apeshit and call the cops for that one. Of course in addition to apeshit, I was also chickenshit and turned out all the lights in the house and made sure my cop call was anonymous. Those people are crazy and I have no idea what they are capable of.

The older daughter is always screaming at the top of her lungs like a roaring lion at everyone in the house. All. day. long.

They got a huge dumpster and left it out on their driveway right next to my porch.

They leave trash out in their driveway and the fat older son is always walking around in little jogger shorts and nothing else.

Its funny (except not…) because these people and their 1,000,000-wind-chimes-on-the-front-porch-house stick out like a sore thumb. You can feel the neighbors all cringing whenever they are outside doing something ghetto.

We pay a lot of money to live in this neighborhood b/c of its proximity to all things LOS ANGELES, its ability to keep a small-town feel and its non-exixtent crime rate. We aren’t leavin.

Phew. (/rant)

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