Day One:New Page

by arianne

Today started out weird. I couldn’t stay awake (because I couldn’t sleep last night…you know how this story goes) and my mean baby forced me to get up at the ungodly hour he decided was morning time. Despite this, I was very nice to him. We went into his room and I got him set up with toys while I laid down on the bed. I locked the door, made sure all was baby-proofed, and had no problem whatsoever sleeping while he played. He didn’t get the MEMO that you don’t wake hormonal bitches when they haven’t slept! He kept poking my eyeballs, pulling my hair and yelling at me until I got up. Its like he was saying, “Dude! Today you turned the page! Transform into the woman, mother, goddess I know you can become! Get the hell up and make me some food!”

Well, I listened. I suddenly had energy like I hadn’t had in months. I cleaned the house and it looked fantastic. I thought, “Today is going to be fabulous, look at how tidy my coffee table is! And i vacuumed! I used the upholstery tool AND the crevice tool!” No day that starts out with voluntary vacuuming can be bad, right?

Fast forward and by the time the evening rolled around the day had gone down the drain faster than the career of the guy who got second place to Kelly Clarkson on the first American Idol.

Yelling at each other in front of your over-tired 3 year old is SUCH bad form. Continuing said fight after kids are finally asleep and being “disappointed and disgusted” are seriously bad ways to end the night. Calling your husband a “prick” as he walks off to bed (didn’t even say goodnight! no sex for him!) makes you feel REALLY good though. Try it.

Well, I still hold the position that I DID turn the page. I made some progress, even if small. I’m still consumed with anxiety over the voicemail messages I’ve “saved” (there’s 13!!!) instead of dealing with. They haunt me. Yes, because calling someone back to say “I can’t come on that day” is so goddamn hard. It is! Don’t judge.

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